Shyness and dating americanadultdating com
But therapists have just as many, if not more, “issues” than our clients: John Kim is impatient. If you’re a fitness coach, your fitness standards are higher. What makes dating feel like water torture are expectations, timelines, outcomes, game playing, judgment, pressure, not communicating (leaving people in the dark), and checklists.
But also puts pressure on himself because of what he does.
I usually meet someone, feel chemistry, get on the same page, and suddenly I’m in a relationship. So this time, I made a promise to myself to just “date.” Don’t move so fast. Instead we hold up shields, blame, get disappointed, triggered, react, and, of course, get hurt. I don’t want people to be angry at me, disappointed, or feel that I’m not who I portray online. There’s no way around it: Hurt comes with any human exchange.
Some are stealing them, taking them for joy rides, and leaving them on the side of the road. If you’re a nutritionist, you’re probably not going through drive-throughs at midnight. If we approach dating without these things — I’m not saying it’s easy — dating can actually be rewarding, and meaningful to your growth.
If I could do anything over, it would be to just relax and view every date as an opportunity for friendship and just to get to know someone new, and to trust my deepest instincts about what felt right to me.
I would have tried to date many people without worrying about the pressure to find someone.
I just ran into one the other day, when I felt like I needed a friend, and we had a good talk. In fact, maybe I'm just dating in order to stretch that part of my nature, to see how I handle myself in various situations.
I have some interest and experience in human resources and I enjoy feeling challenged to help others.
John Kim, LMFT, is a published writer, speaker, life coach, and a co-founder of SHFT.